Ditch the Small Talk: The "Weird Questions Only" Date Night

We love a deep, emotional relationship check-in as much as anyone, but sometimes you just need to know if your partner would rather wear damp socks for a year or fight a 50-pound moth.

Because nothing says true love quite like fiercely debating which one of you would survive a zombie apocalypse using only a spatula. If you are looking for a low-cost, high-connection night in, order some takeout, put on your comfiest sweatpants, and get ready to learn delightfully useless new things about your favourite person.

We’ve curated a list of highly specific, totally unhinged prompts designed to start ridiculous debates over things that will absolutely never happen. Grab a drink, get cozy on the couch, and trade the usual "how was your day?" for the "Weird Questions Only" game.

The Rules of Engagement

Before you start, you must both agree to the terms:

• No answering with "it depends." You must commit to a choice.
• The 5-Second Rule: You have exactly 5 seconds to give your initial answer. No overthinking.
• The 60-Second Defense: You must spend a full 60 seconds defending your logic out loud, no matter how terribly flawed it is.

1. Survival & Combat Strategy

1. You have to fight a 50-pound version of any insect in a gladiator arena. Which bug are you choosing, and what household item are you bringing as your only weapon?
2. The zombie apocalypse hits right now. Based exclusively on the items in the room we are currently sitting in, what is our survival plan, and honestly, which one of us is dying first?
3. If we were dropped into the Hunger Games together, what incredibly useless skill would you try to convince the sponsors is actually a tactical advantage?

2. Highly Specific Curses & Hypotheticals

1. A wizard curses you: for the rest of your life, all your beverages will be room temperature, OR you have to wear slightly damp socks every Tuesday. Which are you choosing and why?
2. You are forced into the witness protection program and have to start a completely new life in a small town in Nebraska. Based on your actual skills, what fake profession are you claiming to have?
3. Aliens demand Earth’s best ambassador, but they only understand human culture through reality television. Which reality TV star are you sending to negotiate our survival?

3. Relationship Absurdity

1. If our pet (or a fly on our wall) published a juicy, tell-all memoir about our weirdest behind-closed-doors habits, what would the title of the book be, and what is the most scandalous chapter?
2. I have been secretly replaced by a shape-shifting alien who looks and sounds exactly like me. What highly specific trick question do you ask to prove it’s an imposter?
3. We are forced to rob a bank together, but we can only use non-lethal distraction tactics. What is our flawlessly choreographed diversion?

Next up: Try this out on your next date night, and let us know in the comments which question caused the most heated debate. If your partner's zombie survival plan involves sacrificing you as bait, at least you finally know!